Monday, March 28, 2011

It is so on, DAD!!

I came back from college today just to find my room in a mess. The tables were right in the center, bed moved, clothes on the floor and wires everywhere. That was enough to put me in any shrink's suicidal/homicidal watch.
So I dumped half of the crap in my parents room just to continue the chain.

My dad came back in the evening. Actually he was happy and stuff about I don't know what (he loves his work) and that annoyed me considering my mood.

He usually spends time with me after he gets back but I just wanted to take a quick nap. But no. My dad was like "Stop being so lazy!" and this soon turned into one of those moments when he explains how much he worked when he was my age.

I hate it when parents do that. I mean seriously.

Anyway we started arguing. That led to a burndown (it's a showdown where people try to burn each other [verbally])

Then he said how I suck at a game I recently bought. I said I hate his mustache. We both were sensitive about those respective subjects. Clearly this had gotten outta hand. So we decided to settle matters like real men do.

A bet.

Oh yeah. He challenged me to do something that I would never do. Like never.

He wanted me to "share" some of my embarrassing secrets. Emphasis on the "embarrassing" part. I mean seriously? Then he explained that by share, he means SHARE. Publicly.

If I do that I will get whatever I want. I haven't decided what but hell I just wanna win the bet right now.

Oh and I'm also required to give proof that it happened. That ways he'll know I'm not making shit up.

So um..lets start I guess.

The Phone Incident.
Year: 2007
This is the story of how my phone was stolen. In broad day light. From my freakin' hands.

What I told everyone:
I was walking down the road, talking on my phone. I had to take a right. As soon as I did that, two guys on a bike came at me from nowhere and snatched the phone from my hands. They were way too fast. I turned around and they had already taken a left or something. I ran to the intersection and they were gone.

What actually happened:
I was walking down the road, talking on my phone. I had to take a right. As soon as I did that, a guy on a bike came up to me and asked me politely if he could use my phone. He said it was an emergency. His brother was in the hospital and he wanted to check on him. He called someone, talked for like 20 seconds and then told me we have to wait for like a minute because whoever he talked to, was gonna call back. Then he started saying how I should join a gym. Oh and he told me he owns a gym. Wow. I just realized what a naive bitch I was <.<
Anyway, after a minute or so of talking, suprisngly enough, I got a call. He picked up the phone and said the guy is just waiting there around the corner and he slowly started moving. I was walking alongside and he was on his bike.
Then that asshole suddenly accelerated, took a right and disappeared.

I was so naive, that I would've helped him as well <.<

Lessons learnt -
Kindness is overrated.
Learn to Bullshit.

The Forum Incident.
Year: 2011
Online gaming is just way too fun. Especially in games like SSFIV. And there is a pretty neat community for indian gamers. Here. People just meet there, talk about games, set up matches and all. So I played with a couple of awesome players from IVG. I got my ass handed to me most of the time but I did manage to pull off a couple of victories. Gimme a break, I just got the game.
Anyway, I was randomly surfing the forum (this thread to be exact) and I saw that people were discussing on ways to improve their connections. Now this discussion was just way too juicy for the smart-ass-geek in me to resist.
So with the intention of helping good folks out, I made a huge ass post about the basics of port forwarding. I gave links to 2 video tutorials, explained the obvious and even said stuff like "Be careful while doing this..." and "I'm sorry if this is too hard to understand"

Basically I treated everyone else like a bunch of idiots who have no prior knowledge of the internet.

Then a guy burned me bad by saying this.

"thanks for the enlightening information (I have been an IT Developer for 6 years BTW <_< ) "
I totally deserved it.

Just like this guy totally deserves a badge for awesomeness

Here they are for your reading pleasure:
My 'enlightening' post.
The guy's reply.

Ok before starting this post, I actually had a few things to share but I just realized this is like one big virtual hara-kiri for me so I'm gonna end with just one more.

The Lip Gloss Incident.
Year: Too embarrassed to remember (2010; for all you people without a sense of humor)
Ah. The granddaddy of all my embarrassing moments. Most of you already know. This is not like a huge ass story with some situation that I have to explain.
Actually it doesn't get any more simpler that this.

So this is what happened.
Changing weather and my lips don't really get along. So every time the weather changes, my lips get dry like you won't believe. So yeah I went to the chemist to get a lip-balm. The place was crowded and I was almost about the swear when I saw a girl. Now I've seen cute girls and hot girls before but she was um...beautiful. Yeah.
 I hate that I'm coming off as a hopeless romantic right now but trust me I'm not. I'm trying to say she was like....different. Then my natural instincts kicked in and thousands of years of male evolution screamed at me to impress her. And I had no idea what to do. I mean I couldn't just randomly start dancing there. It was a chemist's for god's sake! So anyway, I just stood there trying my best not to stare. After all I didn't wanna give off that special-kinda-people vibe. And I now liked the fact that the place was crowded and it would be a while before my turn came.
Eventually, only a few people were left and a guy asked me what I wanted.

This was it. The moment of truth. If I said it loud enough, she may hear me. Then I got freaked for a second cuz apparently, my voice is way too "sweet" i.e. not manly (I don't know; ask her). Then I wondered if I should sound different along with a thousand other things.
Oh and this all happened within a second.

I finally told the guy what I wanted. And apparently, I wanted some lip-gloss. Not lip-balm but lip-fucking-gloss.

I quickly corrected myself but the damage had been done. That guy chuckled. I was embarrassed. And that girl smiled. Freakin' smiled. Now I don't know if that was a 'wow-hes-dumb' smile or 'hes-nervous-what-a-noob' smile or some other smile that I'm not aware of but damn I felt like kicking myself. Anyway, I paid the guy and walked outta there knowing very well that I was never gonna forget this. Oh well.

Now I almost know how he must've felt

So thats it. I'm done. And sad.
Anyway, I win.
Now I just have to decide something to get thats gonna make this worth posting.


  1. Aww. I feel bad for you in the lip GLOSS tale. :P

    And yeah , try asking for that expensive gadget you always wanted but could never get. :D

  2. HAHAHAHAAH! :))

    Sorry for that.
    You learnt your lesson... :P

  3. I'm gonna wait and save it for something awesome in the future.
    I mean tons of awesome stuff are scheduled for 2011.

    thats how most people react when I tell them the story <.<

  4. dude i think the lip gloss incident would work.. lol
    ask for a ps3 if you havent got one yet. :D

  5. Already have one.

    And yeah I can use the lip gloss thing for anything.

  6. it wasnt bad until you corrected yourself,i mean you could be buying lip gloss for someone else?